Saturday, February 12, 2011

First Valentine's Day since the "split"

No, it has nothing to do with a banana split or a rip in my jeans. I mean since I separated from my ex. Anyway, I'm not sure what to think of this Valentine's Day. I've kind of always been one who hates the holiday as a whole, the commercial-ness of it, the nauseating Lifetime movies, the way it pressures men into forced displays of affection, the way it makes single people feel like shit. But deep down, I would be devastated if my significant other didn't do something for me. By the same token one time I got supremely pissed when my ex got me the same exact musical teddy bear holding a rose two years in a row! I hated it the first time, especially since I had always told him NOT to waste money on cheesy stuffed animals or cut flowers - I've never liked either. The stuffed animals always end up collecting dust in a closet and the cut flowers always wilt and die.

Now, I'm not exactly single this year but I am unsure about so many things. What I'm struggling with is to not analyze things to death, not demand constant reassurances from people or life, but to just simply enjoy where I am right now. I have a few very big things that will take quite a while to resolve, but I can't wait until they're resolved to move on with my life.

So I'll be helping my kids write out their class Valentine's cards this weekend. And trying to just enjoy the days.

Happy hearts day bitches!

aka TooMuchCoffee

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