Sunday, February 13, 2011

How to Live "Miserably Ever After"

Don't talk.

Keep secrets.

Constantly try to please your partner.

Ignore your own needs.

Avoid conflict at all costs so you can keep the peace.

Allow your partner to disrespect you without any consequence.

Ignore the fact that whenever you cry, your partner walks away from you.

If you don't like something in the relationship, don't ask your partner for anything - change yourself.

If changing yourself hasn't worked and you're still unhappy, get medication.

After you find out your partner has been cheating on you, insist on visiting a pastor together. Listen to that pastor when he says your partner's cheating is your fault because of the weight you've gained.

Have kids together, because everyone knows how that will make things perfect.

Stand by your partner and remain supportive even as they are driving you into the ground financially trying to make their business work.

Wait at least 12 years for your partner to make an effort to improve their half of the relationship.

When you get sick of waiting, get out. But remember that means you'll now be a single parent and be ready to enjoy all the misery that brings.


  1. I've already tried a number of these at home. Are we (women) really supposed to have needs other than keeping the peace & taking care of our better half??? I always avoid conflict.

    Can you believe I was sent to counseling when hubby wanted to know what he/we needed to do to make ME happy & I had no idea.

  2. TM - I know it's really quite cruel how we're raised to believe in the fairy tale of a prince who will take care of us, complete with a tux and limo on the big day. But even in today's society as far as everyone thinks we've progressed, once the wedding is over women are still subjected to the reality that they're supposed to shoulder the load in marriage.

    Did the counselor help you get an idea of what you needed to be happy?

    A note about conflict: I've never avoided it all that much, now that I think about it. My real problem has been that I never do anything afterwards. Nothing changes and I accept it. Well at least I finally decided I'd had enough of it and did something about it this time. But, cripes, I wasted almost 13 years of my life first.

    I have got to learn from my mistakes or I'm doomed to repeat them. Ugh.