Thursday, March 25, 2010

Bella has a new love interest

This spoof is just too freakin' funny not to share. I found it originally linked from David Slade's page on IMDB here.

If blogspot is cutting it off on the right side, check it out on YouTube here.

I just finished PMSL, along with my TwiGuy, Mr.Coffee. What do you all think? Doesn't Freddie look a little like that guy on Heroes?

Sunday, March 21, 2010

Mrs. P Goes to Olympia, WA

Recently, one of my favorite bloggy bitches, Mrs. P at TwiBite, started a little ditty called "Put Mrs.P on the Map". It has been SO much fun seeing all of her worldly travels and I've been patiently waiting for her to make her way out to the Pacific NW. Finally, this weekend Mrs. P stopped in and she went with my daughter and I to Olympia.  Here is a photo journal of our day:

Our first stop was at the World War I memorial which welcomes visitors to the Capitol Campus. "Hey, 1918! That's the year Edward was born as a vampire!" (Leave it to Mrs. P to find a Twilight connection.)
The sun was out most of the day today, really it was. Of course when we wanted to take nice pictures to show our friends around the world, it looks like a typical overcast Northwest day. And, honestly, our capitol building has seen better times. But Mrs. P pressed on and stomped up the steps in her signature black boots. She was muttering something about lobbying for a "Twilight in Washington" statewide day of worship and setting aside funds to commission a statue of Robert Pattinson and having it erected in the heart of Forks. I like both ideas, but I guess Governor Gregoire hasn't responded to Mrs. P's emails yet.

"It's closed...? WTF?!"
"I guess we spent too much time watching the New Moon DVD today."
"Well, if YOU hadn't kept pausing it on Jacob's abs...!"
"Yeah, if YOU didn't replay the moaning kiss scene 20 times...!"

I thought it might soothe Mrs. P if she had a dance with the daffodils.

But there was no change in her expression.

OK, how about taking in the beautiful view of Capitol Lake and Puget Sound?
"Look! There are the Olympic Mountains in the distance! Forks is just on the other side and you'll be there in a few short months, Mrs. P!"
This cheered her up so on we went to do some shopping.

Our next stop was to sample a little of the local flavor.
"Mrs. P, are you sure you want 4 shots in that?"
"Yes," she replied, "I like my coffee how I like my men: rich with a strong bite and keeping me up all night!"
Okaaaay, can't argue with that.
(Did anyone notice yet how I thoughtfully laminated Mrs. P? I wanted to be prepared for our usual rainy weather. Well, we didn't have it but there was a close call with my daughter's hot cocoa, so I'm glad we played it safe.)

 Our favorite of the day was a posh little boutique called "Sweet Life". While my daughter wandered the store modeling accessories and practicing how to spend my money, Mrs. P found a cushy pink settee in the back to kick up her boots on. Where is Mini-E when you need him?

"Oooooh! What is that I see? A Juicy bag for me?"

While we couldn't find a new pair of boots for Mrs. P to try on, in another shop we found this little number.

I had a blast and hope you did, too, Mrs. P. I have some vacation time coming this year, so maybe we'll get together again soon.

*sigh* good times

Tuesday, March 16, 2010

Vampires drink coffee?

Hell yeah, in my world they do!

I am shamelessly addicted to coffee. I love it love it love it! I crave it, I need it. It's like a drug to me. (Wait a sec, it IS a drug to me!) I even love the smell: it makes me stop, inhale deeply and sigh. I have stamp cards for every espresso stand within a 10 mile radius and the baristas know me by name. I drank mochas and lattes for a long time, but now that I'm losing weight I've scaled back to Americano with cream and sugar. Yeah, it's boring but I'm gonna be a skinny bitch again and at least I still get the kick I need.

Of course, I'm loyal to Starbucks since I live in Starbucks-land - otherwise known as Western Washington. But I have also found a delicious German coffee that I special order online. The price actually is pretty reasonable considering it's imported. Here's a link: Dallmayr Prodomo Kaffee at 

I'm a huge tea fan, too! If you're ever in Seattle you HAVE to visit the Pike Place Market and pick up some Market Spice Tea. It's strong, but oh so good!

I Googled "vampire coffee" just for fun and found a huge collection of cool mugs at Zazzle.

Just in case you need an extra kick this morning... Here are a few of our favorite Twilight stars gettin' their blood pumpin' with some good old fashioned caffeine!

Hmmm, I wonder if Rob takes cream and sugar...

Ashley and Jacksper

Kellan - A tea man? That's ok, it's all caffeinated.

Taylor - Don't start too young, sweetie, it'll stunt

Can we see a close-up of Rob's coffee, please?
Yeah, that's the one...whaaat? Dunkin' Donuts?! Oh Rob, you poor deprived man. Come over my house and I'll show you what good coffee is all about.

Speaking of close-ups, can we zoom in on Kellan?
Ohhhhh...yeaaaaaaaah.... thud.

If anyone is still sitting upright near their keyboard, share with us in the comments: Are you addicted to caffeine? Do you prefer coffee, tea or soda? Cream and sugar? Have you ever tried to quit? If so, what happened? What's your favorite brand?

Have a great day and remember... Death Before Decaf, bitches!

Monday, March 8, 2010

Must Love Dogs

I love dogs. (I'm a dog trainer, after all.) I love Twilight. (I'm an impressionable...ahem...young woman, with too much spare time, after all.) How can I bring these two loves together? I know! Write a post with some sniffable, lickable, "awww" inspiring pics of Twilight stars and their dogs. By the way, a star's value in my book is equivalent to the number of pics I found of them with their dog. Let's have a little contest, shall we?

(click to view full-size pics, but only if you think you can handle the cuteness)

The Winner & Coffee's New Alpha Dog - Kellan Lutz, by far. I found so many I had a hard time choosing which pics to include. Big bone-us points to KLutz for adopting his dogs AND promoting dog rescue. Here are a few wuvable snaps of Kellan with shepherd mix Kola & Chihuahua Kevin.


2nd Place is Rachelle Lefevre with her "Honey." Bone-us adoption points to Rachelle as well. Purse dogs can be rescues, too!

3rd Place goes to Ashley Greene and her terrier, Marlow. That is dog walking in style, sister!

Runner Up - KStew and a really cool-looking shepherd. Wish I knew its name.

Honorable Mentions - Christian Serratos and her Maltese, Bolt

Nikki Reed and her shepherd

The Who's My Bitch? Award goes to Taylor Lautner - Which dog is his anyway? They all look a little staged, if you ask me. The Chihuahua looks like somebody handed it to him and said, "OK, pretend you like dogs and smile!" The black lab mix isn't feelin' Taycob's wolfie vibe. The Yorkie looks like it's thinking, "Grrr! Come any closer and I'll bite that bulbous nose off your face!"

The Crotch Sniffer Award goes to RPattz. I'm so disappointed. This is the only pic I could find of Rob with a canine anywhere near him. This obviously is not his dog and look at his hand, tightened into a fist - clearly a defensive stance. At least he's smiling...wait...that's because the bitch has her nose buried in his crotch! First the elephant groping, now this. *hangs head in shame*

Finally, Best In Show goes to Peter Facinelli and a wet dog in the cutest damn pic I've ever seen in my dog-lovin' life!

Thursday, March 4, 2010

Twi-Haters at Work

I fell down the Twilight rabbit hole around the end of December. I've been obsessed ever since, immersed in everything Twilight and loving every minute of it. My husband, Mr.Coffee, likes the series, too, and we kind of enjoy it together...each in our own way. (For instance, he digs vampire baseball and CGI werewolves but RPattz doesn't make him hot. Btw, Mr.Coffee is endlessly amused at how us Twihard ladies call Rob “The Precious.”) So I’m fairly comfortable indulging in my obsession while in the comfort of my home.

However, I've been hesitant to reveal the Twilight side of my life to anyone at work, for fear of at best - eye rolling, at worst - open ridicule and criticism. I've done well guarding my secret at work. That is until a few weeks ago in the break room when I was caught off guard by a smokin’ pic of His Royal Hotness in a copy of a rag mag that some thoughtless co-worker left haphazardly sprawled across the lunch table. It happened so fast…I set my lunch bag down, started to pull out a chair and caught sight of the feast set before me. I froze and let out a very audible and breathy gasp - an involuntary reflex caused by Robjaw - some of you know what it is I suffer from. Two co-workers happened to be at the table and would have been deaf to not hear the noise I made. They both look at me and say “Whaaat?” I stutter and stammer trying to think of a good cover like “I forgot a fork for my salad” or “Shit, I forgot to punch out”. But before I can spit it out, one of them follows my gaze which is locked on to the magazine like a tractor beam. She leans over, reads the caption and says, “Oh. You like THAT guy? Bleh!”

At that point it was too late. The vampire was out of the bag. I blushed and mounted a passionate yet futile defense of Rob’s magnificence. The odds should have been in my favor since both these people were women and 90% of Earth’s females are hot with RobFever. But they both look at me in quiet amusement as if I had just sprouted a tail. They proceed to lecture me in a condescending tone about who really is hot in their opinion, such as Harrison Ford and Sean Connery. Outnumbered, I sighed in momentary defeat and silently vowed to eat lunch in my car from now on.

Fast forward to today. I leave the office for a while to take a deposit to the bank and return to find a strategically-placed sticky note on my computer screen:

Should this blatant disrespect go unpunished? I feel like going Volturi on someone’s ass right now! What would you do?